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Knitting Cobblers For A Pagan Giant

Image via Wikipedia

It is springtime in Abstercot.
Wraiths from the churchyard chuckle and sob like talent show victors, idly raking their glass-pebble eiderdowns, as I sit under my garden knitting cobblers for Betch Johnnyman, the pagan giant.

Puff Bosom Spectre

Yesterday evening I went to bed with a fierce will to sleep as my day had been a full and taxing one. As I lay there in the filtered orange gloaming, summoning from within the bio-chemical boon of drowsiness, I became troubled by a most malignant aroma rising from regions unknown.

Rainsoaked Paper Chubbspaniels

Yesterday, sitting on my memorial bench ( why wait? ), quietly supping my bowl of Farmhouse Nicotine, I recieved a hail of pale sludgy droplets to the back of the neck, causing me to shudder explosively and tip the breakfast vessel into my lap.

Vintage Ego Rally

This afternoon promises fine Abstercot weather for today’s Vintage Ego Rally, to be held from noon onwards at the municipal Cat Filletting Plant.
This world famous jamboree has attracted many illustrious figures from the world of self esteem, including deejays, quasi-religious pop icons and celebrity chefs.